Saturday, September 26, 2009

The only way Gibo is going to take this election

... is if he takes his cue from the Joker's campaign strategy:


Ay wait. I shouldn't give the corrupt administration juggernaut supporting him any ideas ano? Baka totohanin. Si (gulp) Ronnie Puno pa naman running mate niya hehe.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Kung gusto ko ng kwentong barbero...

... aba, magpapagupit ako!

***

Mula sa SONA - Bumaba daw ang inflation? Ang unemployment? In fact, this is the best time daw for the economy in five presidencies? Ano daw? Hello? Saang Pilipinas yan Gloria? I don't think it's the Philippines I'm living in. Baka alternate reality yan kasi yung Pilipinas na ginagalawan ko ay mahirap. At patuloy na naghihirap dahil ikaw ang nakaupo. 'Wag tayo maggaguhan ha?

***

Mula sa New York at Washington - "I didn't pay for those dinners!" Talaga lang ha? Well, according to this columnist I read, aba, graft pa rin daw ang tumanggap ng gifts over a certain amount. And I think a P1 million dinner is WAY over that amount.

Aba, at dapat daw magpasalamat tayo dahil limpak-limpak na investments daw ang dinudulot ng pagje-jet-setting ni Madam President. Ows. E bakit according to a recent report I read, one of the ten hardest places in the world to set up a business daw ang Pilipinas? At according to yet another recent business-investment-ranking-survey thingy, the Global Competitiveness Index na ginagawa ng World Economic Forum, e lalong bumaba ang ranking ng Pilipinas dahil sa (guess what?) CORRUPTION! How surprising. Number 87 daw tayo down from 71 last year. Nag-drop. Again. As usual.

At kung totoo man na maraming nag-i-invest dito dahil sa paggagala ni Madam President, bakit, nakakakain ba ang investor confidence hmmm? I believe we have one of the highest hunger incidences in the history of the country now. So, kung totoo man na dumadagsa ang mga dayuhan dito para magpatayo ng pabrika at kung anu-ano pa, e wala pa rin ito sa mga nagugutom nating mga kapatid.

***

Mula sa California at New York - Aber! At may bahay ang magkapatid na Arroyo sa Istates-side! At hindi ma-explain ni Mikey Arroyo kung bakit! In fairness kay Mikey, matapang siya. Ayaw niya ng phone patch. Gusto niya talaga live, in-studio, with (wait for it...) Winnie Monsod! O baka bobo lang talaga siya...

Kasi naman hijo, don't lie about money to an economist! Bobo! At least yung nanay mo magaling magsinungaling kaya di nahuhuli. E ikaw, mana ka ata sa ama mo. Tsk tsk. I can just see Gloria slapping her forehead in frustration while watching that interview.

Hindi mo napanood? Dahil mahal ko kayo, etong sa 'yo!

***

Segue muna - Hindi ba na-pi-piss off ang mga Kano na palaging nadadawit ang pangalan ng bansa nila sa mga iskandalo ng Presidente? Mukhang mahilig ata talagang magkalat sa States ang Pamilyang Arroyo. Curious lang.

***

Meanwhile, hindi daw makahanap ng candidate ang administrasyon for next year. Si Gibo lang at si Bayani ang pagpipiliin na, if we go by surveys, e hindi ata alam ng mayorya ng taumbayan na nag-e-exist sila. At ilang pa raw si Kabayan na sumali sa kanila. Edi good! Kung suswertehin tayo, mangyayari sa kanila ang nangyari sa oposisyon last elections, na natalo dahil watak-watak at walang ma-put forward na isang kandidato lang.

Sana nga mangyari yun, para hindi na natin kakailanganin na pakinggan pang muli ang mga kwentong barbero ng Pamilyang Arroyo. Leche.

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Gone

I was going to write a bitchy column about the SONA. But that can wait for now.

***

You know how you never really realize someone was there, protecting you, protecting your freedoms, until they're gone?

And when they're gone, then you realize how big they were, how important, how much you needed them.

And now you're alone.

That's how I feel about Cory.

***

I was barely around for her presidency. My family left the Philippines after EDSA 1. When we came back, it was almost 1992. But I have seen her since, speaking when the nation needed her to, but always retreating to her private life after, so unlike the attention-hungry toads that populate the government now.

She may not have been a brilliant economist or a whipcracker of men, but she was an example of restraint, of selfless service, an example none of our presidents since her has taken.

And now she's gone.

***

Over the years, I've read the criticism of her, that she didn't do enough economically, that her CARP was half-baked, that her family's own lands got away from under it. And maybe this is all valid.

But I think, first and foremost, Cory had it in her head to restore democracy and democratic institutions to this country, so that the next president could get on with the economic stuff. And that was a big job, especially after the shambles twenty years of dictatorship had left the country in.

And she did it.

***

And always, always, people say: she stepped down. She gave up her power, and did not cling to it like it would kill her to give up, like so many of our self-serving politicians now.

Power, I think, is like water. When you cup it gently in your hands, you are able to hold it for a while. But when you try to grab it, grasp it, it slips through your fingers and flows away.

To get power, I think, you must not want it in the first place. You must hold it gently and, when you pass it along to the next person, it doesn't hurt to do so. But when you greedily grasp for it, you will spend your whole life fighting to hold on to it, and you'll lose it anyway.

***

Cory held her power gently like water. And when she gave it away, she gave it with gladness in her heart. But she never really lost it, not the power she had in our hearts. The power she showed us we all had.

***

I joke that one of the few times I cry is when political leaders die. It's not some macho thing; my whole family, girls and boys, was not brought up to be particularly emotional or affectionate, so crying isn't really something we do. But I really do cry sometimes when leaders die. I cried when John Paul II died, and I cried when Yasser Arafat died.

I cry because they stand for something and are now gone. I cry for the orphaned people they leave behind who have no leaders to look up to.

And I cried yesterday, watching that mass on the last morning. For all of the above reasons and more. But I don't think I've cried like that in a while.

***

I'm not a religious person. I'm not even a Catholic. But I sat through a beautiful homily during that mass by a Father Arevalo, scribbled on pieces of yellow pad paper, I noted, amused.

And he said something I will not forget. He said, "There is darkness in our land because you are gone. But we know, we have enough light within us because you have shared with us your fire."

***

So light the fire. And never forget what she gave us.

Because she is gone.

Because now we are alone. And we only have ourselves, each other, to find our way through the darkness now.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

I love my country

You know why? Because of signs like this:




I love it hahaha! And I love whoever invented the camera phone!

I hope no one saw me taking pictures of the sign in the toilet though (not the best place to be snapping away). I wouldn't want people to think I was up to something pervy hehe...

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Mga Bobo sa Senado

My Senate is such a hive of idiots...

Hello?! Pay attention fools! Congress is trying to destroy you with Cha-cha, but you idiots are so busy fighting with each other, you haven't even noticed. By this time next year, you probably won't exist anymore.

***

I didn't realize that whole ethics committee investigation is trying to expel Villar from the Senate. Ganun? First you ass-kick him from the Senate presidency (and replace him with that corpse Enrile. And seriously, who are the fools repeatedly electing him and people like Gordon into office? Gawd.) Now you're trying to remove him completely from the Senate? This is clearly the work of threatened presidential aspirants.

Not that I'm a big Villar fan, mind, but I take any accusation of corruption against already-previously wealthy (as in prior to his entry into politics) senators, who stand a good chance of taking the presidency next year (and away from a horde of other salivating aspirants in the Upper House too) with a block of salt. Maybe he's guilty, maybe he isn't. But isn't this a question for the Ombudsman and Sandiganbayan to investigate? Him being investigated by his fellow senators, who make barely any attempts to disguise their rivalry with him, is suspect, to say the least.

***

And who filed this complaint? Jamby Madrigal? Sus! I've always had the impression that lady wasn't playing with a full deck of cards. Have you seen her talk? I have, and in person. And it was weird. And hello? What has she done ba in all her time in the Senate? If she wasn't ferociously contesting her dead aunt's will, she wouldn't be in the news at all.

***

Meanwhile, Congress has come up with (how many now? three? four?) new ways to railroad Cha-cha. Melo is talking about a possible no-election scenario. Lorelei Fajardo, one of President Bitch's six (count 'em: six!) spokespersons has said words to the effect of: Prime Minister Arroyo? Why not? She's been a good president (and that last bit I most definitely take issue with). Pay attention senators! If Cha-cha passes, there won't be an Upper House for you people to fight in anymore! And I highly doubt you fools will be able to get any seats in a Parliament if our government system goes there.

Mga tanga! Mga bobo! Get your acts together! Stop investigating shit! You're not the bloody courts. Kaya nga may judiciary e.

Friday, May 08, 2009

Rape me! Romantic naman daw e...

Ahem. Ano daw? Acquittal ba kamo? Truly? Siryusly? Nakaka-bad trip 'di ba?

If the law can't protect you from being taking advantage off by foreigners in your own country (in this case, from rape), then where are you safe?

Na-acquit nga si Daniel Smith, and take note, mga gehls po ang nag-acquit sa kanya. Yung mga inaasahan na makaka-simpatiya sa isang rape victim na babae pa ang naglahad ng mga super-archaic and bizarre na conclusions leading to an acquittal. Such as:

1. “No evidence was introduced to show force, threat and intimidation applied by the accused (Smith) upon Nicole, even as the prosecution vainly tried to highlight her supposed intoxication and alleged unconsciousness at the time of the sexual act.” Ganun? So wala nang saysay ang "no means no" and "you can say no at ANY time" na tinuturo natin sa mga gehls? Basta kung walang force, hindi na rape? So kung i-roofie ka sa bar, hindi ka makapalag kasi unconscious ka, at dalhin ka sa kung saan para gamitin ang katawan mo, edi hindi ka na-rape? Kasi walang force? WOW! Ang galing-galing talaga ng ating mga hurado! Why don't they return the previous classification of rape na rin, na crime against chastity, while they're at it.

2. “When a woman is drunk, she can hardly rise, much more stand up and dance, or she would just drop. This is a common experience among Filipino girls.” Avah! Nag-generalize ang mga hurado! Common experience pala ito sa mga Pinoy gehls! Any girls reading this, chime in if this is a "common experience" for you when you drink. I know I've danced with lots of girls while they were drunk/tipsy, and they were all excellent dancers.

3. "The curious thing is that she danced non-stop to the urgent beat of rock and hip-hop music in an inebriated state for 15 minutes without stumbling clumsily on the floor.” Ito, maliban sa lame argument, funny lang na statement. I'm imagining three old ladies sitting around a table talking about the (ahem) "urgent" beat of rock and hip-hop... Hahaha! Anyway, THIS is their evidence she wasn't raped? She was dancing, ergo, she wasn't drunk, ergo, she couldn't have not consented? Jesus H. Christ! Clearly, these old biddies have never been on a bender. I've managed to get home stone-cold drunk without knowing how. Apparently, I was able to give the taxi driver directions on how to navigate the complicated route through our subdivision to our house. And our house is WAY inside the subdivision, so you're not just going to happen upon it basta-basta. But I'd be hard-pressed to explain how, seeing as the next thing I remember after leaving the club is being in the taxi pulling up at our gate. Lots of us are perfectly capable of remote-controlling ourselves through certain situations while drunk, even if we're not totally conscious how.

4. Ay, but the worst: The court concluded that Nicole’s portrayal of herself as a “demure provinciana lass going on a first-time vacation to Subic” as mere “deceptive posturing.” Attack the victim! Man, ano sila, defense ni Smith? So kung hindi ka "demure," edi hindi ka p'wedeng ma-rape! Anything that happens to you is surely consensual, anyway, slutty ka naman! Delightful!

I don't know where these judges read up on rape (and surely they have extensively, they're CA justices for god's sake), but I was always told that a girl has the right to say no at ANY time, even if she's just about to have sex with a guy. If, at this time, she changes her mind, it's her right, and the guy must stop. None of that she's-leading-me-on bullshit. And if you're drunk and unconscious/semi-conscious, can you really give consent? I thought the Makati RTC judge had conclusively stated you cannot. Rape is rape, whether the woman clawed and bit at the rapist to fight him off, or lay there because she was frozen in fear or drunk. If she didn't say YES, then it's not consensual. Simple.

Maybe forty years was a bit much, but Smith did rape and he should have been punished. And now, after getting fat in "detention" at the US Embassy (Have you seen the pics? Magpakulong na rin kaya ako sa US Embassy, mukhang mabubusog ako...), he's off and free? Gawd, this is the country I have sisters in? Where female judges will let men get away with rape? Holy shit.

Spontaneous romantic encounter lang daw? Kelan pa naging romantic ang rape? Aba, kung gan'un, magpa-rape na tayong lahat next Valentine's. Tutal malaya na rin naman si Smith, I'm sure he'll be willing to help.

Ang dami talagang hayop sa Pilipinas tsk tsk. I lab my gobyerno talaga...

Sunday, March 08, 2009

Haha! Anthem ng buhay ko!

I heard this song, it's like every drunk night out I've ever had hahaha! Look up the lyrics!

Of course, you can't embed the original video... I did find this funny mash-up though: